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Content Warning: Desperate for Attention

She was just desperate for attention.”

This is one of the most hurtful and

statements that a person can make about a person with a mental illness.  Suicide is a very serious topic, with frequently devastating consequences, and should never be made fun of.

The thing is, for me at least, it is absolutely the opposite.  The times that I am the most depressed I don’t want attention at all.  I want to crawl into a hole and die.  I can’t think about how my mom or my best friend, or my niece and nephews will feel.  I can’t worry about anything like that at all.  All I can think about is getting out of pain.

There are times that suicide attempts are, thankfully, unsuccessful, but it is not because the person wanted attention, it is because, frankly, it is hard to make yourself die!  I had one instance where I was heading to the hospital, but I brought a knife, and I pulled over to the side of the road and slit my wrist.  Thankfully, at the last second, I panicked and called 911. 

Was that for attention?  Absolutely not.  It was a tiny part of me that wanted to live.  A small part of me was terrified to die, no matter how much I thought that was what I wanted.  And thank goodness!  I have had so many amazing life experiences since then that I would have missed out if I hadn’t asked for help at the last minute.

Sometimes people take pills, and they take enough to make them very sick, but they don’t take enough to die.  Or sometimes people do things to trigger police officers to the point that they will get shot because it’s less scary than killing yourself.  It’s a very complex and overwhelming topic.

But it’s not for attention.

Even if it was, why would you put them down?  Why would you ignore the signals for help?  If someone is so desperate for help that they attempt suicide, why wouldn’t you reach out your hand and say, “I’ll walk this path with you, you are not alone”?  Why would you hurt them more?

All of this is to say, watch what you are saying.  To anybody.  Make sure you know what you are talking about and realize that your words have the power to hurt just as much as they must help.  Wouldn’t you want to be the person lifting someone up when they are at their very lowest instead of pushing them off the edge?  I know I would.  Something to think about.

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